mah........

let me see...mega couple of hours with my nephew yesterday. i was on a super crowded smelly awful 31 bus and squashed in the middle when it came to a stop and there was my sis with my nephew so i let out a squeal shouted frantically permesso permesso and managed to get off and there he was smiling shyly and ohhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhh was it worth all the hassle and fatigue just to hold him in my arms....man alive have never felt such love as when i see jack. tis a love never felt before a different kind of love...watching him run and hearing his voice and feeling his breath on my face. hearing him giggle, the words he says, his eyes and his nails on my face when he strokes my cheek......love of my life he is.
am not in yip yip hey hey mood ( nowt new there hahahah ) got a yukky sore throat ( fagging all the same ) and worried bowt sony's cough nasty not getting better and halloween tonight......
no emails nowt nothing and paula has disappeared from face of the earth wanker.
albeit mihi wrote a one liner on facebook arsehole however for not writing earlier. life needs a shove in a positive direction. cfstand pos and his very presence though am doing everything in my power to be civil.
simes bit ippety and hyper dont know what goes on in his life anymore ( everyone else does though hahahahah ).
mum in bournemouth - had a mega 36 hours there and ooooohhhhhhhhh what a laugh we had. we bickered and rowed and laughed and giggled and uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhd and ahhhhhhhhdddd at everything. landsdowne college just the same gosh the memories....
awful seeing mum walk away from the bus station. i so just want to be with her, over there in a bungalow or flat and look after her. take her out enjoy her company and her idiosyncracies, watch over her when unwell, be there when lonely, accompany her to museums theatres whatever. i want to give back what she has given me life love laughter. such a special strong wonderful person i just want to see her truly happy. will i ever be able to do that??????