...continuation of 6th February 2008

i get shown to a room which has a sliding door half open...i peek in and there...there.....lying in bed is my sis, my twin, my life....my everything. The emotion i felt seeing her there my twin my twin with my nephew wanting to get out ohhhhhhhhhhhh i could have just knelt down in the middle of the floor and wailed with every single emotion i was feeling...........she had on a nightie and was lying in bed cant remember if strapped in but she was looking at me half smiling half wincing...........

i went straight to her and we kissed and put my cheek against hers and said 'oh lems oh twin it'll be fine it's going great' and when her face contorted with a contraction i wanted it to be me so as not to see her in pain...

a nurse followed suit and did something with a flebo which i understood was bringing on the contractions cos Jack was ready to come out but summat was stopping him and i held my twin's hand saying things and laughing and we were both amazed awed excited scared and everything.

Silv said she didnt know whether she was coming or going what to do etc and then all of a sudden two or three nurses came in and one of them, the one in charge, felt my twin's tummy looked at the drip and said 'c siamo' or summat similar. As she was doing this i was looking at another nurse who was preparing a trolley with sterilized things and then before i knew it i was sent to silv's left and told to stay put and this other nurse put her hand around silv's pubes and said 'ecco silvia spingi alla prossima contrazioni dai c'è la fai' and silv started singing ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhh rock and roll robot cos the contractions were fast and furious but nowt was moving down below so they said she wasnt pushing hard enough and silv insisted she was. they were shouting at my lovely little twin my twin who was bearing down and doing her utmost and and and and and i could have paniced but i didnt i had to be strong for sis i had gone through this before i had to show strength confidence faith and ccc cool calm collected but i was shittng myself i can tell you really doing my head in cos wanted to get on that bed and throw myself onto silv and hug her tight til the cows came home...............

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh rock and roll robot
how we sang how we shouted how we held hands how we laughed and cried as Jack came out........his head first his scrunched up little face and his beautiful little body all facing me as silv lay exhausted back on the bed. my nephew my nephew my nephew had made it my twin my little sister strewth my baby sister had just given birth to the most precious wonder: Jack xxxx will never ever forget that feeling of sheer joy relief gratitude pride xxxxxx

6th February 2008

.....so i get off at the train station heart beating fast cell in my hand am looking at it constantly.....i walk into the supermarket in a daze and grab some water fruit biscuits yoghurt and go to the bustop. am in such a turmoil so worried so happy so excited so everything i can only picture my twin on her own on a hospital bed having contractions.......

san camillo hospital is famous for being first hospital in rome and consequently is pretty awful to look at run down v little organisation v laid back v dirty!!!
Once i found the maternity ward I ran up the stairs ( as i write this today 2nd December I am wearing the same stripey green and grey jumper and same jeans i wore that day!! ) and saw another dad waiting....i plonked myself on the stairs and texted my sis 'i am waiting outside can come in anytime'.

waited and waited gosh the trepidation...........

I even started pacing hahahahahahaah

Eventually lems texted me saying 'you can come in' oh my gosh i almost whooped with joy i was going to see my twin my twin my twin....it was about 11am by now i had been waiting for well over an hour......

I tentatively pushed open the door ( cant remember if i had all my stuff with me i think i did ) and there were doctors and nurses bustling shouts moans talking a general commotion!!!

A bossy nurse came up to me indicated a room and made me put on a sterilized gown with shoe covers. I was all in green heart beating outside my ribcage. Outside my ribcage.

i cant believe so much time has passed and i havent been able to sit down and write write write.....am always so pressed for time :-((((( will now finish the story - true story - of my twin-sister's giving birth and the arrival of Jack my nephew!

strewth almost 3 months ago.........

4 days later, on the 6th february, at 12.10 am JACK ROMANI LEMON was born......well......out of this world!!!!!!!!!!!

it came about that as usual i got to mum's at 8.05 am after having had mad hour getting kids up breakfast sandwiches taking sony to school. i remember flopping on mum's chair knackered and bit ott usual thots money dire body goin to the dogs etc etc etc....

i happened to look at my mobile and sis had written sumthing like 'all ok just to let u know have been in hospital since 1.30 am' or summat like that.

slow motion

heart stopped

i got out of the chair

i said slowly and calmly to mum

'can u pick up sonia at 2pm mum cos silv's in hospital' - actually i cant remember if sony was home that day.....

i texted silv back 'am on my way'

slow motion

put my jacket on

opened the door

kissed mum goodbye

got to the station

heart beating fast

got on the train

got off

went into the local supermarket.....

almost there

am pretty ott as usual you might say but no even more than usual. my twin has reached 39 weeks and the last few days has extreme itchiness all over. none of the midwives are worried but fuck i read up on internet all kinds of things and got myself into a right shit!!! am so worried and neverous and excited and apprehensive......the birth and my twin and of course am goin to do my utmost to be there to assist but am shitting myself.......
will keep u informed

wat a palaver

well for ffs - today was the last possible day to do my salmonella test to be able to assist my twin's birth. i simply had to cak today. and ffs yesterday i didnt so i must be so full but do u think i had the urge????? grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i passed by mums and together we had a cuppa so fingers crossed i wud get the urge to go to the bog ..... nothing....then all of a sudden a twinge and i dashed to the bog where i ummmed and ahhhhed and managed a very poor minute tough-as-nails piece of sh*t. well i thought now or never so with the little spoon attached to the lid i tried to cut the thing but all to no avail. its such a yukky thing to do hahahahaha in the end i managed. very embarrassing and it was only me in the bathroom. mum and i had a laugh about it.
then i met up with karen to have a cappuccino and pastry. all ok so she could give me a lift in before tem am to get the specimen to the lab on time. she actually drove up with her bmv - the latest ffs - cos her car was at the mechanics so she grabbed her husbands!! we had a chat and laugh then at half nine set off to go to the lab. well the fucking car wouldnt start!!!! i mean that car costs as much as my whole flat and it didnt fucking start!!!! we tried for a good ten minutes
strewth ruth panic cos i HAD to get to the lab on time so i set off swearing to catch the bus....which passed me before i even reache the busstop. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i waited for five minutes and lo and behold karen beeped at me and said that miraculously it had started. i made it to the lab with two minutes to spare. italians can be so fucking precise at times and the lady face on her i can tell u was actually about to refuse my specimen but i shoved it under her nose and said its urgent. phew :-))))))))

never guess wat???

reckon it was a slight reaction to a new toothpaste i bought.....put it this way this morning i used an old tube thats almost finished and no tingling. tonight will try the new one ( pepsodent ) and will keep you informed.

was supposed to take in my salmonella poo specimen in to the lab today but i didnt poo ffs grrrrrrrrr i cant be at my twin's birth if the people aint got my salmonella results :-((((

hahahahah reading back that is soooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!

yikes

i mentioned in passing that my lips were tingling and my sis said cud be summat to do with circulation etc and seeing as i aint feeling hundred percent in general am shitting myself. strewth have so much to do etc etc i cant risk being ill now...fuck fuck fuck...i shud get my act together...get all my blood tests done do an electrocardiogram etc etc will pas by doc and get blood pressure measured. wat a pain in the arse this whole palaver is.....have neglected myself for too long and now things are coming to a head.

ohhhhhhhhhhh am i pissed off or what

am so arsy at this precise moment cos everything backfires simes has his first karate exam at 3pm and has just told me that has invited over a friend for lunch which is ok. however in the meantime a mate of mine asked me to let her daughter come for lunch as she is busy and cant make it home in time. fine by me i said also to give me a chance to pay her back as she always ferries my kid around when there are parties etc. when i told simes that he had an absolute epi. i couldnt get a word in edgeways. he looped the loop i mean ffs he's 14 years old goin on 10 jeeeeeeeeeeeeee he went on and on til i put the phone down on me. wat an absurd severe reaction. am wracking my brain as to why such a reaction. i know this girl and simes have never been the best of friends. she's a swot and v critical heavygoing actually a pain in the arse tween u and me but then my son is pretty high up on the list too though to his favour laughs a lot which this girl doesnt.
strewth now how the fuck am i goin to resolve this problem????
am always pig in the middle shit think am doing the right thing then it all backfires.
fuck fuck fuck how i hate the way things go wrong.
am wracking my brain but just dont know. impossible to ring my mate and take back my offer. can only hope to cajole simes who can be a right arsehole when he puts his mind to it. am shaking my head at his outburst. i know he's in the height of hormone changes etc and has always been a particularly dramatic lad but fuck to react like that.
it must be something that girl has done.......ok will look into that sometime soon but how the hell am i going to solve this problem now................

ho hum ho hum

slept 8 hours and am tired thats not normal got a stupid side parting that looks ridiculous and i woke up with indigestion...dont u think my body is trying to tell me something???? isnt it time i knuckled down and started a serious healthy eating plan with regular exercise??? i cant believe am 41 going on 50 could stil be quite attractive but am goin to the dogs its embarrassing and stupid to say the least.

pissing down

its totally pissing down and i have things to do but i cant be fagged am working out a shopping list but i aint got any ready cash so that pisses me off too having to go to a cashpoint so am wondering if i can make do / invent with wat i have in my kitchen cupboards and fridge :-((((((