let me see...mega couple of hours with my nephew yesterday. i was on a super crowded smelly awful 31 bus and squashed in the middle when it came to a stop and there was my sis with my nephew so i let out a squeal shouted frantically permesso permesso and managed to get off and there he was smiling shyly and ohhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhh was it worth all the hassle and fatigue just to hold him in my arms....man alive have never felt such love as when i see jack. tis a love never felt before a different kind of love...watching him run and hearing his voice and feeling his breath on my face. hearing him giggle, the words he says, his eyes and his nails on my face when he strokes my cheek......love of my life he is.
am not in yip yip hey hey mood ( nowt new there hahahah ) got a yukky sore throat ( fagging all the same ) and worried bowt sony's cough nasty not getting better and halloween tonight......
no emails nowt nothing and paula has disappeared from face of the earth wanker.
albeit mihi wrote a one liner on facebook arsehole however for not writing earlier. life needs a shove in a positive direction. cfstand pos and his very presence though am doing everything in my power to be civil.
simes bit ippety and hyper dont know what goes on in his life anymore ( everyone else does though hahahahah ).
mum in bournemouth - had a mega 36 hours there and ooooohhhhhhhhh what a laugh we had. we bickered and rowed and laughed and giggled and uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhd and ahhhhhhhhdddd at everything. landsdowne college just the same gosh the memories....
awful seeing mum walk away from the bus station. i so just want to be with her, over there in a bungalow or flat and look after her. take her out enjoy her company and her idiosyncracies, watch over her when unwell, be there when lonely, accompany her to museums theatres whatever. i want to give back what she has given me life love laughter. such a special strong wonderful person i just want to see her truly happy. will i ever be able to do that??????
sabato 31 ottobre 2009
sabato 24 ottobre 2009
llife oh life oh lifeeeeee
i aint happy at the moment so many reasons tho' i guess i am happy am just fed up confused dont feel well with stomach bit of cramps and period due.
dont wanna leave sony - we are far too attached for our own good but i love her to bits. she slept in my bed and we both slept badly but at a certain point her head was on my pillow and i smellt her hair and i thanked the Lord for her for simes for jack for twin for scor.
must start xanax cos cant carry on like this for sure hahahahaha
this uk business is stressing me somewhat and mum on tod in an unknown place for two weeks not 100% etc is enough to bring anyone out in a cold sweat and add to that pos whom i cfstand his v presence his everything i should see a shrink try and get over this
when he was trying to wee i cud have gagged in the clinic
how can such love and passion turn to such disgust and repulsion? tis mental for sure but i still hate and resent him so much. he is the cause of all my problems and i dont think any shrink can ever remove that conviction.
ho hum ho hum negative too negative must be more positive - i reckon its church time.....must go in and do my pledge/oath - think will choose halloween as is a significant date.....
watch this space hahahahahaha
dont wanna leave sony - we are far too attached for our own good but i love her to bits. she slept in my bed and we both slept badly but at a certain point her head was on my pillow and i smellt her hair and i thanked the Lord for her for simes for jack for twin for scor.
must start xanax cos cant carry on like this for sure hahahahaha
this uk business is stressing me somewhat and mum on tod in an unknown place for two weeks not 100% etc is enough to bring anyone out in a cold sweat and add to that pos whom i cfstand his v presence his everything i should see a shrink try and get over this
when he was trying to wee i cud have gagged in the clinic
how can such love and passion turn to such disgust and repulsion? tis mental for sure but i still hate and resent him so much. he is the cause of all my problems and i dont think any shrink can ever remove that conviction.
ho hum ho hum negative too negative must be more positive - i reckon its church time.....must go in and do my pledge/oath - think will choose halloween as is a significant date.....
watch this space hahahahahaha
sabato 17 ottobre 2009
rainy day never say goodbye
strewth i always have problems getting in to this blog - head in the clouds all the time hahahahaha
i wanted to write about my kids.
they are exceptional. demanding spoilt exceptional.
sonia is almost a teenager and worries me to death. makes me laugh. she has such an amazing sense of humour. easy to make her laugh and she's a giggler. she loves animals and of course our cat is non plus ultra. she has this incredible copper coloured hair and freckles mingled with spots and is so cute. she is as tall as i am and is very very popular. bit obsessed with sims and the pc in general and is ahal at home on her pc and on the phone with her mates. she has had a brace put in to widen her palate then will need the 'piastrine' to straighten her teeth. she is size 38 in shoe size and has a lovely dress sense. v trendy hip hopish. i love 'er to bits and last night we play fought and laughed and giggled. she is really strong and a bit touchy hahhaha but a lovely lass. am very proud of her and want her to always be this perky and funny. she is so sensitive too but very practical and down to earth. if there is something to solve she gets to the core of the problem and comes up with the perfect solution. i love her to bits.
simes is a fully fledged teenager in full adolescent hoo haa and getting taller and lankier by the day. he has dark ginger hair and freckles and gorgeous straight teeth ( thanks to the orthodentist ) and when he smiles is mighty handsome. he can never find his belts for his trousers in the mornings hahahaha. he is v intelligent and seems to take school and what goes with it in his stride. he is 'borsa di studio' material and he knows it. i hope he doesnt get waylaid in the meantime. very popular though has an arsy streak but could be just adolescence though i think not hahahaha. i ask him for a hug and he says 'not now' then ten minutes later he comes to me and bear hugs me. strong passionate and lovable. he looks good in everything he wears and has a good dress sense. enjoys dance classes and is always here there and everywhere. loves good food and is definitely one for high class environment though table manners leave a bit to be desired. he's my lad and i love him to bits i do. he squeals when overexcited and we all shake our head but smiling because it's so him hahahahaha
i love them so much and they have so many of my traits its amazing. they both know how to smile and laugh wholeheartedly and nowadays that is such a special thing. very educated too with neighbours and whatnot though they both tend to mumble when a bit unsure hahahahahaa
they are destined to reach far and wide and will always know that i love them so much because they are me xxxxxxxxxxxxx
i wanted to write about my kids.
they are exceptional. demanding spoilt exceptional.
sonia is almost a teenager and worries me to death. makes me laugh. she has such an amazing sense of humour. easy to make her laugh and she's a giggler. she loves animals and of course our cat is non plus ultra. she has this incredible copper coloured hair and freckles mingled with spots and is so cute. she is as tall as i am and is very very popular. bit obsessed with sims and the pc in general and is ahal at home on her pc and on the phone with her mates. she has had a brace put in to widen her palate then will need the 'piastrine' to straighten her teeth. she is size 38 in shoe size and has a lovely dress sense. v trendy hip hopish. i love 'er to bits and last night we play fought and laughed and giggled. she is really strong and a bit touchy hahhaha but a lovely lass. am very proud of her and want her to always be this perky and funny. she is so sensitive too but very practical and down to earth. if there is something to solve she gets to the core of the problem and comes up with the perfect solution. i love her to bits.
simes is a fully fledged teenager in full adolescent hoo haa and getting taller and lankier by the day. he has dark ginger hair and freckles and gorgeous straight teeth ( thanks to the orthodentist ) and when he smiles is mighty handsome. he can never find his belts for his trousers in the mornings hahahaha. he is v intelligent and seems to take school and what goes with it in his stride. he is 'borsa di studio' material and he knows it. i hope he doesnt get waylaid in the meantime. very popular though has an arsy streak but could be just adolescence though i think not hahahaha. i ask him for a hug and he says 'not now' then ten minutes later he comes to me and bear hugs me. strong passionate and lovable. he looks good in everything he wears and has a good dress sense. enjoys dance classes and is always here there and everywhere. loves good food and is definitely one for high class environment though table manners leave a bit to be desired. he's my lad and i love him to bits i do. he squeals when overexcited and we all shake our head but smiling because it's so him hahahahaha
i love them so much and they have so many of my traits its amazing. they both know how to smile and laugh wholeheartedly and nowadays that is such a special thing. very educated too with neighbours and whatnot though they both tend to mumble when a bit unsure hahahahahaa
they are destined to reach far and wide and will always know that i love them so much because they are me xxxxxxxxxxxxx
mercoledì 14 ottobre 2009
cant fkn believe how much time has passed
ok just checking i can get into my blog....will write mega long blog soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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