noooo peace for the wicked

ok today sees me as feeling a pit in my stomach bit of agitation due to my imminent departure for four days to the uk and also those bloody wood eating insects in the other room....yuk yuk yuk

paula aint meeting me at station next week tho could easily have done so - tis half hour from cardiff ffs and i am coming all the way from italy.

have decided not to have hair dyed cos a) wud have had i known for sure wud have met up with someone hahahah and b) cos period too heavy and dont fancy being at hairdressers for three hours. feel all tickly and itchy cos of those bloody insects.

had to meet a client at termini station this morning jeeeeeeeeeeeps i felt so bloody self conscious.....mah went ok and we had a laugh. i talk too much and give out too many personal details grgrgrgrgr

simes aint answering phone and has theatre show today. tis so bloody hot and humid too...

sony amazing goes to school in just tshirt and trousers though walks with her arms across her chest the love. she slept in my bed last night conked out bless. i dont wanna leave her more than anyone hahahahah though she drives me up the fucking wall hahahahahaha

tis bliss without pos wat a spanner in our works

heavy period and did facial yesterday she was yonks on my nose and took nowt off from my ears and ear area.....weird...my nose is beaming now che schifo yuk yuk hahahahahaha

aint in touch with mc cos he pissed me off with his boring emails all me me me will wait to c if he tries to contact me again am one line-ing with mc2 but nowt to write home about hahahahahah

over and out xxxx

had facia

am in a frightful mood

goodness knows am in such an awful pissy mood i cant shake it. it could have summat to do with my intestine / bowel movement making me feel under the weather lethargic and generally depressed. i am pissed off...i dont sleep well at night havent done for ages want love and affection but not from him ( though he deserves it but not from me ) and am in a mess. am v negative and down and cant shake it. it could be change of season which normally brings me down but honest not like me to drag it on like this.

simes is out and about and am so proud of him going to that liceo ....honest my little cutie ginger freckly little son now 15 years old and so sensitive and beautiful...how can i ever ever save him from the evils and dangers of this world???

and sony...my beautiful sweet ragamuffin 12 and a half and so gorgeous how can i ever protect her from the evils and dangers???? its driving me mad this fear i have of not being able to do more for them.

am so over anxious ( could be the reason for my ibs ) that am always negative and that is not like me at all.

money wise dire straits....even in work he cant pay me so everything is backing up.....next week i have to pay theatre for sony month of april, postural gym for me and simes for may, kickboxing for simes month of may, dentist month of may, plus my blood tests and pay the quarterly for sony's school.....its just too much. sometimes i just dont want to struggle anymore....what is in it for me???? all this stress worry and negativity no light at end of tunnel etc etc etc

am quite quite pissed off!!!