monday morning blues

not only monday morning blues been blue too long now and am in such a rut - cant get out reminds me of that scene from silence of the lambs with the girl trying desperately to climb out of that vertical yukky tunnel with her nails scraping on the wall.....
course being so unhappy with husband takes it toll on everything else so that is the major problem then money which is always tight then mum who is stil unwell lonely and depressed so waits for my daily visits to have a moan or whatever then simes adolescent mood swings and sony same thing and am bang in the middle.
am in this job which suits me down to the ground being partime but doesnt give me enough to make ends meet am always looking for ways to earn more without jeopardizing kids' / home / other responsibilities etc but aint easy
i keep thinking grass is greener in the uk but it isnt - would be hell there without my family and working longer hours the cold and all the other negative things there are so why cant i get out of this rut........six milion dollar question!!! shake myself and get my act together which i do regularly then get moments of despair and think is this it??? is this my life? at 42, unhappy, no love, no money, no fun, no laughter?????
bit dire if you ask me