...without a trace....

this isnt living this is struggling honest am unhappy am tense am a nervous wreck i am so bogged down with worries and anxieties and am a mess.
mum thank goodness made it back in one piece - a bit worse for wear but great to see her coming out of the arrivals in a wheelchair smiling bless. she had lunch with me ieri and it was mega seeing her eating away at my table.
the kids were affectionate and huggy with her which is grand and even scor gave her attention hahahahhaah
mido came to fix sony's tapparella great huge improvement but gotta come back to put silicone tho i mght have a go myself......:-((((
sony wants this beagle at all costs....she has me under her thumb and i cant get out that's why i want to disappear without a trace. i cant handle her anymore eithr i get the bloody dog or i disappear.
what on earth am i gonna say to pos to convnce him and where on earth am i gonna get the money to pay for a dog.
am awake during the night cos of this.............
otoh why not? why not enjoy taking a dog out have a dog to keep me company etc etc
why fukn not????
mess mess mess am a total fkn mess